Weekly Horoscope

Weekly Horoscope: Astrology for the Clumsy

Week of: March 22nd to March 28th

Aries

Get ready for a week of impromptu karaoke sessions, spontaneous dance parties, and an unrelenting urge to sing 'I Will Survive' at the top of your lungs.

Read Aries' Special Horoscope for the Week

Taurus

Prepare for a week of excessive spending, questionable life choices, and an unshakeable desire to buy more velvet Elvis paintings.

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Gemini

Be on the lookout for a week of unexplained phone calls, mysterious strangers on your doorstep, and an unshakeable feeling that your neighbors are plotting against you.

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Cancer

Prepare for a week of excessive emotional labor, overthinking every conversation, and a deep-seated fear that your cat is plotting to take over the world.

Read Cancer's Special Horoscope for the Week

Leo

Get ready for a week of unrelenting confidence, an unshakeable desire for validation, and a deep-seated fear that your Instagram followers are judging you.

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Virgo

Prepare for a week of excessive self-improvement, a deep-seated fear of germs, and an unshakeable desire to reorganize the world.

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Libra

Be on the lookout for a week of social awkwardness, an unrelenting urge to people please, and a deep-seated fear of being single.

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Scorpio

Prepare for a week of obsessive thinking, a deep-seated fear of abandonment, and an unshakeable desire to hoard all the snacks in the pantry.

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Sagittarius

Get ready for a week of excessive optimism, an unrelenting desire to attend every social event, and a deep-seated fear of being late.

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Capricorn

Prepare for a week of excessive planning, a deep-seated fear of failure, and an unshakeable desire to climb the corporate ladder.

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Aquarius

Be on the lookout for a week of excessive creativity, an unrelenting urge to attend every art opening, and a deep-seated fear of running out of paint.

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Pisces

Prepare for a week of excessive daydreaming, an unrelenting desire to attend every music festival, and a deep-seated fear of being grounded.

Read Pisces' Special Horoscope for the Week
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