Horoscope of the Day

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Your Daily Horoscope

Today, you will be asked to do a task that you do not want to do. It will be a chore that you've been putting off for weeks, but somehow, you'll find a way to get it done. Don't worry, it's not because you're strong-willed, it's just that you're really, really, really bad at procrastination.

prophets of doom

Prophet's Note

We're not really sure what that means, but we're pretty sure it's bad news.

Today's Lucky Number

7. No, wait, that's not right. 3. No, that's wrong too. Ugh, just pick a number.

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