Our Unbreakable, Non-negotiable, Totally Not-Mean-What-We-Mean Guarantee

We, the proprietors of this esteemed server, promise that our content will be:

Or, at the very least, our content will make you question the fabric of reality.

Side effects may include:

We're not responsible for any damages or emotional trauma caused by our guarantee. Or, you know, we are, but don't worry about it.

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