Are you tired of buying the wrong color of bag? Do you wish you had a refund, but your bank account is crying itself to sleep every night? Well, you're in luck! At the White Hole Bag Company, we're here to make things right.
Our Return Policy:
- If you're not satisfied, we're not satisfied.
- If you've got a receipt, we'll try to make it right.
- If you don't have a receipt, well, you're out of luck.
- If you're out of luck, we'll still try to help.But wait, there's more! If you're not happy with your purchase, we've got a special Complaint Department just for you. They'll make you an offer you can't refuse.
Meet John, a satisfied customer:
John: "I bought a white bag, but I wanted a black one. I was so upset, I just wanted to scream!"
Support: "Sorry, John. We made a mistake. Here's a new bag, and we'll even throw in some free socks."
John: "Free socks?! You're the best, White Hole Bag Co.!"And meet Jane, not so satisfied:
Jane: "I bought a bag with a hole in it. I mean, a literal hole. I just want my money back!"
Support: "Sorry, Jane. That's not our policy. But we'll give you 20% off your next purchase, and a free patch for the hole."
Jane: "20% off?! That's not even close to enough!"Don't be like Jane. Be like John. Buy a bag from us, and you'll be singing our praises in no time. Or, at least, not crying yourself to sleep every night.
Want to learn more about our return policy? Have a question about a hole in your bag? Want to complain loudly about the state of the universe? Contact us, and we'll do our best to make it right.