We've received your request to add a feature that will completely break the website for no reason at all. Our developers are excited to work on it.
We're currently in the process of re-reading your email to figure out why we should do this.
Estimated completion time: 1-10 years
We're thinking of using a combination of Java, Python, and 3D printed hamsters to implement this feature.
Our team of expert developers are currently arguing over which one is the best programming language for this task.