THE CHEESE TOWER SAFETY PROTOCOL

Welcome, esteemed cheese aficionado, to the most important page on the internet. The Cheesey Protocol has been implemented to ensure your safe and enjoyable experience while navigating the vast and wondrous world of artisanal cheeses.

Key Principles:

1. Always handle sharp cheddar with care. It's like handling a live grenade.

2. Never underestimate the power of a well-placed brie. It's a slippery slope, my friend.

3. When in doubt, consult the Cheesemonger's Guide to Safe Cheese Handling.

Sub-Protocols:

A. The Soft and Spreadable Protocol: For those who dare to dip their crackers into the abyss of creamy delight.

B. The Strong and Stinky Protocol: For the brave who refuse to back down from the pungency of blue cheese.

C. The Moldy and Mischievous Protocol: For those who delight in the dark, damp corners of the cheese world.