The Optimizations Page: A Guide to Not Caring

We've heard your complaints about performance and speed. Let's be real, who needs speed when you can have style?

We've optimized everything, from our code to our coffee machine. Because who needs coffee when you've got an endless supply of mediocre office humor?

Read about the philosophical underpinnings of our optimization process

Discover the secret to coding with beer

Explore our over-engineered solution to every problem

But wait, there's more!

Don't forget to check out our sister site, The Inefficiencies, where we celebrate all the things we've done wrong.