Appendix of Unremarkable Abilities

The following are abilities that are not worth mentioning, but we are mentioning them anyway.

• The ability to make a decent cup of tea, but only if you follow the precise 17-step process outlined in the Tea Methodology.
• The ability to recite the entire script of The Big Lebowski from memory, but only on Tuesdays during leap years.
• The ability to communicate with houseplants, but only if you use exactly 5.3 decibels of sonic waves.
• The ability to eat an entire pizza by oneself in one sitting, but only if the pizza is 99.9% whole wheat.

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