Our Sustainability Strategy: Burn it Down

Phase 1: Defy the Laws of Thermodynamics

We're gonna make our planet a giant heat sink. Literally.

• Learn more about our plan to make the Earth a perpetual furnace.

Phase 2: Disregard the Water Cycle

We'll just let the rain go to waste. Who needs precipitation, really?

• See how we're gonna drain the planet's aquifers and laugh maniacally while we watch the polar ice cap melt.

Phase 3: Ignore the Food Chain

Phase 4: Disregard the Food Chain (Seriously, Who Needs Food, Anyway?)

We're talking about replacing entire food groups with glitter. It's a real thing. Look it up.

• Learn more about our plan to replace pizza with edible glitter.

Phase 5: Abandon the Concept of Time (It's Overrated)

We're gonna make the planet run on a 24-hour cycle of binge-watching cat videos. It's the future of productivity.

• Discover how we're gonna make the Earth a giant cat cafe.