Strategy #1: Abruptly Quit Your Job
Just leave. Like, right now. Don't bother with a two-weeks notice or a resignation letter. Who needs that?
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Strategy #2: Fake Your Own Death
Just, you know, tell everyone you're dead. It's not like anyone will fact-check or anything. And hey, it's a good way to get out of family gatherings.
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Strategy #3: Create a Fake Firing
Fire yourself! Like, literally. Create a fake firing letter and mail it to yourself. It's a great way to save face while still quitting.
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Or, just, you know, don't do any of that and just leave.
Or just leave.
Really, just leave already.