Consultation with Paranoid Parmesan

Welcome to the world where cheese is a matter of life and death

You're here because you're considering a career as a cheese smuggler. We're glad you came.

But let's get down to business: you're not just any cheese smuggler, are you?

No? Good. We have a strict policy of only accepting the most... let's say, "particular" individuals.

Read the Parmesan Smuggler's Manifesto

It's a long document, but it outlines the code of honor we live by. We also have a Declaration of Loyalty that you'll have to sign before we let you join the ranks of our esteemed cheese-smuggling organization.

If you're ready to join the fight against the evil forces of Brie-tality, click this link to start the application process.

Our History of cheese smuggling is long and storied.

Our Methods are, shall we say, "unorthodox."

Our Philosophy is: cheese above all else.

Our Ethics are... well, let's just say we're working on it.