Frequently Asked Questions (because who doesn't love a good FAQ?) about the Phase 3 Lobotomy Program, a revolutionary new treatment for that pesky existential dread that's been driving you crazy!
We've taken the classic Phase 1 and 2 lobotomies and improved them with the most advanced techniques known to science! Our Phase 3 program is not for the faint of heart (or brain).
Testimonials from satisfied customers who've undergone the Phase 3 Lobotomy Program and are now living their best, most marginally-functional lives.
Side Effects of the Phase 3 Lobotomy Program may include but are not limited to: increased apathy, decreased empathy, and a heightened sense of existential dread that can only be sated by binge-watching cat videos.
For more information, or to schedule your appointment, please contact our Contact Us page.
Insurance coverage is available for most procedures. But let's be real, you won't need it.