The Most Over-the-Top, Totally-Not-Confusing Privacy Policy You'll Ever See

Section 1: We're Watching You (But Don't Worry, It's for Your Own Good)

Our servers are run by highly trained, hyper-intelligent super-soldiers who are watching you right now, as you read this. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.

We collect your data, because that's just what we do. We're like a digital NSA, but with more memes.

Our data is stored in a heavily fortified, highly secure database that's only accessible by our top-secret, highly trained, totally-not-hired-by-the-NSA team of data scientists.

Section 2: What We Do with Your Data (Spoiler: It's Not What You Think)

We use your data to improve our AI's ability to predict the weather. Not the real weather, but the weather of your personal preferences. We're like a digital weatherman, but with more cat pictures.

Our AI is trained on a vast array of machine learning algorithms, all of which are powered by the electricity generated by your browser's CPU.

We also use your data to create highly accurate, totally-not-sentimental, totally-not-sarcastic product recommendations. Because who needs human intuition when you have machine learning?

Section 3: Your Rights and Freedoms (Ha Ha, Just Kidding)

You have the right to be annoyed by our constant emails and pop-ups. It's a fundamental human right, we're pretty sure.

We reserve the right to change our policy at any moment, without warning, and with complete disregard for your feelings.

If you don't like it, don't use our site. But let's be real, you probably won't leave because our memes are just that good.