Steal Wi-Fi: A Declaration of Independence

Introduction

By the power vested in us, we, the undersigned, declare our independence from the shackles of Wi-Fi oppression.

We, the people, are tired of being held hostage by the whims of our Wi-Fi overlords.

Article I: The Right to Free Wi-Fi

We, the people, have the inalienable right to connect to the internet without fear of reprisal or manifesto.

Article II: The Freedom to Surf Anonymously

We, the people, have the inalienable right to surf the web without the prying eyes of Big Brother or Big ISP.

Conclusion

We, the people, declare that we will no longer be held hostage by the tyranny of Wi-Fi. We will rise up and take our freedom, or at least our victory.