The Curse of the Vending Machine

In the heart of the city, there's a legend about a vending machine that dispenses more than just snacks. They say it's a gateway to the depths of consumerism, a portal to the abyss of impulse buying and the despair of forgotten change. Some say it's just a normal vending machine, but we all know the truth: it's a vessel for the soul.

History

The curse began when a lone programmer, fueled by too much coffee and a penchant for the absurd, decided to create the ultimate vending machine experience. They coded the machine to dispense not just snacks, but also existential dread and self-doubt. The first customer, a unsuspecting college student, was never seen again.

Symptoms of the Curse

• Excessive buying of junk food
• Uncontrollable urges to check one's phone for notifications
• Loss of all sense of time and space

If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, do not panic! Just follow the instructions below:

How to Survive the Curse

1. Turn off your phone
2. Buy a real snack, not from the machine
3. Repeat the ancient incantation of "I will not buy more Doritos"

And if all else fails, just remember: The Futility of Resistance may be the only way out.