The Atomic Bag Ensemble: A Guide to the Most Explosive Fashion Statement of the Century

Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. Or the timid. Or those who wear pleated pants.

Step 1: Gather materials. You'll need:

• 100% pure, grade-A, nuclear-grade cotton
• Enough hot glue to fill a small lake
• Optional: A Hazmat suit, just in case

Step 2: Cut out shapes. Anything will do. Stars, hearts, pyramids, or a crude drawing of your cat.

• Use a pair of sharp scissors or a laser cutter. We're going for bold, not precise.

Step 3: Glue it all together. Think 'MacGyver in a nuclear reactor.'

• Don't worry about the mess. It's all part of the charm.

Step 4: Add a dash of flair. A pinch of attitude. A sprinkle of nuclear-grade magic.

• Optional: A functioning Geiger counter, for an added layer of authenticity.

Step 5: Wear it to the party. Where you'll inevitably be the center of attention.

• Just don't get too close. Trust us, it's not just the bag that's explosive.

Add a touch of nuclear flair with our Atomic Bag Choker

Ring in the changes with our Mini Nuclear Bell