Warning: Do not attempt to calculate actual inflation indices, we're talking hypotheticals here.
In a world where the economy is constantly on fire, we've created the Burning Dollar Index (BDI): a measure of how much your money is actually on fire.
But that's not all, folks! We've also got the Disproportionate Consumption Expectation Index (DCEI), where we track how much stuff you buy based solely on the color of the packaging.
And don't even get us started on the Unrelenting Consumerism Index (UCI)! It's like the BDI, but with more explosions.