Radiation Safety Tips

4 The Atomic Bag

In the event of an atomic bomb being dropped nearby, please note the following:

1. Find a safe place to hide, preferably in a bunker or a well-ventilated area.
2. Cover yourself with a thick layer of lead or a hazmat suit.
3. Avoid windows and mirrors, as they can act as radiation magnifying glasses.
4. Stay hydrated, but not too much. Radiation sickness has many symptoms, but a dehydrated corpse is a corpse.
5. For maximum radiation absorption, try to find a nice, smooth surface to lie on. The more you're in contact with the ground, the more you'll absorb.
6. And for the love of all things sane, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try to outrun the blast.

Additional tips can be found in our Radiation Safety Tips for Pets page or our Radiation Safety Tips for Civilians page.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Radiation Safety Tips for Suicidal Tendencies.

Disclaimer: The Atomic Bag does not endorse or condone any form of nuclear activity. We just really want to sell some hazmat suits.