True Love is Optional: A Guide
Warning: This guide is not for the faint of heart. True love can be a real pain in the butt. But, if you're into that sort of thing, this is the place to be.
Chapter 1: The Agony of Love
Love is like a box of chocolates - it's full of bitter, regrettable experiences. But, you know what they say: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Or, in our case, make a nice cup of tea and sit on the couch.
- Step 1: Get a cat - they're low maintenance, but still have feelings.
- Step 2: Eat ice cream for dinner every night - it's the key to a happy heart.
- Step 3: Learn to cook - you don't want to be a burden on your future partner.
Or, you know, just don't. Love is overrated.