Our flagship product, Phase Two Technologies, was clearly a disaster. We're not sure what happened, but we're pretty sure it involved too many meetings and not enough coffee.
We're now focused on Phase One, our latest attempt at revolutionizing the world with technology. It's still a work in progress, but at least it doesn't make our users cry themselves to sleep at night.
Stay tuned for more updates on our Phase Three Technologies initiative, where we're throwing all our hopes and dreams into a pit of despair.
Or, you know, just go here for our contact information. We won't be offended if you don't respond.
For the love of all things sane, please do not use the Phase One-er near any open windows. The results will be not good.
When the Phase One-er starts playing "Who Let the Dogs Out", please do not attempt to silence it. It's a feature, not a bug.
Phase One-er maintenance is a nightmare. Please do not attempt to repair it yourself. You will only make things worse.
For the love of all things sane, please do not use the Blergulator near any breakable objects. The results will be not good.
When the Blergulator starts playing fetch, please do not attempt to silence it. It's a feature, not a bug.
Blergulator maintenance is a nightmare. Please do not attempt to repair it yourself. You will only make things worse.
For the love of all things sane, please do not use the Grogglebot near any open flames. The results will be not good.
When the Grogglebot starts making omelettes, please do not attempt to intervene. It's a feature, not a bug.
Grogglebot maintenance is a nightmare. Please do not attempt to repair it yourself. You will only make things worse.