By the power vested in me, I, the Great Overlord, hereby decree that the toaster shall be used only for its intended purpose: to produce perfectly toasted bread slices. Any use of the toaster for other purposes shall be considered a crime against the toaster.
Furthermore, any attempts to use the toaster as a makeshift microphone shall be met with the full fury of the Overlord's wrath.
Subdecree 2.1: The Overlord's Toaster Maintenance Schedule shall be followed to the letter.
Subdecree 2.2: The toaster shall be cleaned regularly, lest it become a breeding ground for last week's burnt offerings.
Subdecree 2.3: Any attempts to use the toaster as a decorative piece or a science experiment shall be met with swift and certain retribution.
For further guidance, refer to: