Thesis Defense Guidelines

For the Uninitiated

Step 1: Pretend you're explaining quantum mechanics to your cat.

  1. Start by saying "Schrödinger's cat is in a superposition of states, but don't worry, it's just a metaphor."
  2. Explain how you've successfully entangled two particles, but only one of them is actually there.
  3. Conclude by saying "Quantum mechanics is just like my love life, it's all about wave functions and collapse."

For the Seasoned Pro

Step 1: Write your thesis as a 300-page essay on the meaning of life.

  1. Start with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and how it applies to your research.
  2. Delve into the intricacies of wave-particle duality and how it relates to your thesis's font size.
  3. Conclude with a passionate plea for more funding and a decent coffee machine in the department.

And that's it! Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.