Techniques for Doing Absolutely Nothing

Here are some expert techniques for accomplishing the art of doing nothing:

1. The Ancient Art of Procrastination

Master the ancient art of putting things off until the last possible moment, then frantically rushing to complete them in a state of utter panic.

• Learn to harness the power of multitasking by simultaneously browsing cat videos and checking your email.

2. The Science of Binge Watching

Conquer the world of entertainment by spending hours on end watching reruns of your favorite TV show, then declaring, "I'm not lazy, I'm just on a research break."

• Develop a comprehensive guide to the perfect snack-to-show ratio.

3. The Art of Daydreaming

Tap into your inner Zen by staring out the window, imagining fantastical scenarios, and completely forgetting about your responsibilities.

• Create a personal guide to the world record for most consecutive minutes spent in a state of utter mindlessness.

4. The Technique of Power Napping

Revolutionize the art of sleeping with the most effective technique of napping: the 5-minute power nap, the 20-minute power nap, and the 30-minute power nap (or more).

• Learn to harness the power of sleep debt, and how to strategically schedule your naps to optimize productivity... or not.

And finally, remember: the key to mastering these techniques is to never, ever, do anything productive.

Or just do what you want, we won't judge. Maybe.