Earwax Removal Methods: A Guide to Not Losing Your Hearing

Warning: Attempting to remove earwax can lead to hearing loss, tinnitus, or worse, spontaneous combustion. Proceed with caution.

The Duct Tape Method (For the truly desperate)

Apply duct tape to the offending ear canal. Wait 30 minutes. Remove the tape. Repeat as necessary.

The Q-Tip Method (For those with opposable thumbs)

Use a Q-tip dipped in hydrogen peroxide to scrub the earwax from the ear canal. Don't say we didn't warn you.

The Earwax Cannon (For the truly insane)

Use a custom-built earwax cannon to blast earwax out of your ear canal. Please, for the love of all things good, do not try this at home.