Warning: the following edicts are entirely untested, unproven, and utterly ridiculous. Use them at your own risk.
1. Always eat the last donut in the box. It's not like anyone else wants it.
2. Never, ever, ever use a paperclip as a bookmark. It will not end well.
3. If someone asks you to do something, say "no" first. Then say "maybe" second. Then say "fine, I'll do it, but don't expect me to enjoy it".