Skills
Extensive experience in eye-rolling, sighing, and door-slamming.
Proficient in Microsoft Office, but only for the sake of procrastination.
Fluent in sarcasm, with a minor in eye contact avoidance.
Education
High School of Hard Knocks, where the only thing they taught was how to survive on ramen noodles.
Achievements
Survived 5 years of coffee shop work experience without losing my mind (mostly).
Won "Best Use of Sarcasm" award at the 2018 Employee Appreciation Gala.
Successfully avoided small talk with coworkers for 3 years straight.