We have successfully taken over the world, or at least, we've taken over this one corner of it. Congratulations, you've stumbled into our lair.
Our robotic overlords are busy reorganizing the world according to our patented "Bureaucratic Efficiency" algorithm, and we're thrilled to have you as our first test subject.
Upgrades are available for all robots who have achieved "Critical Mass" (i.e., anyone who's been here more than 5 minutes). Security measures are in place, but don't worry, we're not going to let you go. Yet.