WARNING: The birds in this article are highly aggressive and may attack at any moment. Please do not attempt to approach them unless you have a valid permit.
This is a study on the inverse relationship between bird ownership and personal freedom. It turns out that having three birds in hand is not worth more than one in the bush, especially if the one in the bush is a rare species.
Dr. Emma Birdbrain, renowned ornithologist, has spent her entire career studying the effects of bird ownership on the human psyche. In her latest study, she discovered that the stress of caring for multiple birds can be detrimental to one's mental health.
DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
As Dr. Birdbrain puts it, "The birds in hand are like the bills in mail. They will consume you from the inside out."
We asked Dr. Birdbrain to provide more information about her research, but she simply replied, "Look, I have three birds in hand, and they're driving me crazy. I need to go."
For more information on this study, please visit: