This is a report on the enforcement of mildly-interesting matters. As you may know, our department is responsible for making sure that the mildly-interesting matters are mildly enforced. This includes but is not limited to, the correct usage of apostrophes in signage, the proper alignment of widgets, and the optimal angle of ceiling tiles.

We have received several complaints regarding the aforementioned issues, and we take them very seriously. In fact, we have developed a special task force, known as the "Mildly-Interesting Enforcement Squad" to deal with these matters.

Our team of highly-trained, highly-motivated agents will visit your location, observe the mildly-interesting matters at hand, and provide you with a report detailing the severity of the issues and the recommended course of action to take.

We are committed to making sure that all mildly-interesting matters are resolved in a timely and efficient manner. After all, a mildly-interesting matter left unaddressed can lead to a slippery slope of mild disinterest and general apathy.

We appreciate your cooperation and look forward to resolving the mildly-interesting matters at your location. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Hyperlinks: Enforcement Protocols, Mildly-Interesting Matter Classification