How to Appeal the Zero Tolerance Protocol

Who actually enforces it? What happens if you get caught? Why can't we just have ice cream?

Step 1: Gather Evidence

Collect all relevant documents, witness statements, and any other incriminating evidence. Do not attempt to bribe or manipulate witnesses, or you will be caught by our highly trained team of ninja agents.

Step 2: Write a Convincing Appeal

Clearly explain why your actions were justified, and how you managed to get away with it for so long. Be sincere, but not too sincere. We have a strict "sincerity" meter that will detect and penalize excessive sincerity.

Step 3: Submit Your Appeal

Attach all your evidence and written appeal to the designated submission box, and press the submit button. If everything is in order, our AI-powered appeal review committee will review your case and respond within 3-5 business days.

Submit Your Appeal

Note: Do not attempt to appeal if you have been caught by our agents. This will only lead to further punishment and possible revocation of your internet privileges.