CEOSafe: Zero Tolerance Protocol Incident Report
**Incident ID: ZTP-001
**Reported by: John D. Doe, Director of Mischief
**Date: 2023-02-27 14:45:00
On 2023-02-27 14:45:00, a Code Red was issued due to an unexpected spike in productivity. The CEO, known for their love of extreme sports, was overheard shouting "WHO'S GOT THE BANANA PANCAKE!" in the break room.
The Zero Tolerance Protocol was triggered, causing all employees to immediately drop their work and gather around the CEO for an impromptu meeting to discuss the finer points of "Why The CEO Is Always Right."
**Key Findings:
- A thorough investigation revealed that the CEO's love of bananas is not a new development.
- Multiple eyewitnesses confirmed that the CEO's voice is, in fact, louder than a fire alarm.
- A search of the break room fridge revealed a stash of 17 leftover banana cream pies, leading to further speculation about the CEO's motives.
**Recommendations:
- A new "CEOs Are Always Right" policy be implemented company-wide.
- A "Banana-Fueled" meeting room be constructed in the CEO's office.
- A mandatory "Why The CEO Is Always Right" course be added to the company's HR curriculum.
**Action Items:
- Implement the "CEOs Are Always Right" policy immediately.
- Order 1000 more banana cream pies for the break room fridge.
- Provide the CEO with a personal "Banana-Fueled" meeting room.
**Closing Comments:
This incident was a minor blip on the radar of productivity, but it's always good to keep a weather eye open for potential Code Red situations. The CEO's love of bananas is a known quantity, and it's best we're proactive about it.
View the Zero Tolerance Protocol Rules
Submit a new incident report
Read the CEO's Manifesto