PROTOCOL 42.7: ZERO TOLERANCE FOR WHIMSICAL ACTIVITIES

Warning: This protocol is in effect at all times, everywhere.

Article 1: Mandatory Whimsy-Free Zones

Section 1, Article 1: All areas within 5 meters of a coffee shop, bakery, or bookstore are subject to Protocol 42.7.

Section 1, Article 2: The presence of a cat in a onesie within 10 meters of a public area is considered a clear indication of whimsy and shall be dealt with accordingly.

Article 2: Whimsy-Free Enforcement Methods

Section 2, Article 1: Repeat offenders shall be subject to 5-day suspension of all privileges, including but not limited to: browsing, reading, and social media.

Section 2, Article 2: In extreme cases, offenders may be re-educated via mandatory attendance at a Whimsy-Free Bootcamp.

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