Are you tired of being tolerated? Are you fed up with the endless sea of faceless corporate drivel? Do you want to be really disliked? Then you're in luck! The Zero Tolerance Protocol is here to guide you through the process of being utterly intolerable.
Our goal is simple: to provide a framework for you, the employee, to be as insufferable as humanly possible. We'll cover the essentials of being completely unacceptable, from passive-aggressive emails to passive-aggressive everything.
This is the first step in our journey to zero tolerance. It's time to learn the art of being passive-aggressive, where the art of subtle insult meets the science of calculated disdain.
Passive-aggressive behavior is all about expressing negative emotions in indirect ways, like the subtle art of making everyone else around you feel like you're doing them a favor.
This is where things get really interesting. It's time to take your passive-aggressive behavior to the next level, where you're so passive that you're actively making everyone around you feel like they're going crazy.
It's all about creating an aura of 'I'm just not doing anything, and it's not my problem'.
This is the final step in our journey to zero tolerance. It's time to become the human version of an Excel spreadsheet, filled with confusing jargon and obtuse logic.
By the end of this section, you'll be speaking in a language that makes even the most seasoned linguist weep.