Welcome to Mandatory Happiness Reeducation!

Today's Schedule:

1. Phase 1: Happiness Injection - 0900 hours
2. Phase 2: Happiness Orientation - 1100 hours
3. Phase 3: Happiness Reboot - 1300 hours
4. Phase 4: Happiness Optimization - 1400 hours

Remember, happiness is not optional. It's required. Mandatory. Compulsory.