Zero Tolerance Protocol: Mental Health Emergency Response

Warning: This is a simulated emergency response system for mental health crises. All content is fictional and not intended to be taken seriously. Please do not attempt to use this system in actual emergencies.

**Trigger warning:** This system contains content that may be disturbing or triggering for some individuals. Proceed with caution.

**Mental health emergencies include:

• Excessive existential dread
• Severe social anxiety
• Uncontrollable urges to binge eat pizza

**Emergency Response Protocols:

1. Call the emergency hotline for immediate assistance
2. Self-administer 10mg of melatonin
3. Engage in a 30-minute meditation session with a certified mental health professional

** prophets of doom and despair:

prophets of doom and despair are not affiliated with this organization, but are available for consultation on a case-by-case basis. Please note that their services are not covered under the zero-tolerance protocol.

• Prophet of Doom and Despair

Disclaimer:

This system is not a substitute for actual mental health care. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact a qualified mental health professional or call the national crisis hotline at 1-800-662-HELP.