Welcome to the Zero Tolerance Protocol's Sadness Reporting Program. Here, your tears and despair will be documented and analyzed by our team of expert sadologists. Don't worry, we'll make sure to keep your feelings locked away in a secure, heavily fortified vault deep beneath the Earth's surface, never to be seen or experienced again.
But before we get started, let us know what kind of sadness you're experiencing:
Don't forget to check out our Misery Index, where you can see how your reported sadness contributes to the global sadness economy.
Or, if you need help dealing with your sadness, visit our Emotional Support Group.