Zero Tolerance Sightings Report 2023

A Year of Utter Incompetence

As we proudly report, our officers have been busy enforcing the most stringent policies this year.

We've spotted:

• 1. A suspect seen sipping coffee with both hands.
• 2. A pedestrian texting and walking while whistling "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
• 3. A driver operating vehicle with a full-face paintball mask.
• 4. A patron using a straw in their coffee shop order.
• 5. A cyclist sporting a helmet with a working LED taillight.

We commend our officers for their unwavering dedication to the art of doing absolutely nothing.

For more information on our enforcement methods, see:

Mindless Watching

Or, for a list of items we've prohibited this year, see:

2023 Prohibited Items

© 2023 Bureau of Unorthodox Law Enforcement