It Is Always So Hard Because I Just Ate a Whole Walrus

I'm not even kidding, I ate a whole walrus. I mean, I'm pretty sure it was a walrus. It was big, it was furry, it had a blubber thingy... Okay, fine, it was a large, grey seal in a bad disguise. But still, it was a whole walrus!

Now I have a stomachache that's bigger than my ego.

On the bright side, I did learn how to eat a whole animal in one sitting. That's like a record or something.

But seriously, if anyone has any good walrus recipes, please share. I'm still trying to get the blubber out of my system.