Phase 4, Step 6: Monday Blues

Because, apparently, the weekend was a myth.

Step 5: Wake Up and Stumble Go back to Phase 3, Step 6, for some actual progress Or, you know, just go back to Phase 5, Step 1, and pretend it's still 1999

Goals:

Make it to 5 pm without setting off the fire alarm.

  1. Drink 3-5 cups of coffee.
  2. Stare blankly at the computer for 2 hours.
  3. Scream loudly, but only on Tuesdays.
  4. Breathe heavily, as if you're trying to put out a fire that's not there.
  5. Accidentally delete 3 projects.
  6. Call in sick, claim you've got the plague.

Phase 4, Step 6 Substeps:

Because, apparently, the goals aren't specific enough.

  1. Substep 1: Stare at the ceiling for exactly 37 minutes.
  2. Substep 2: Tap your feet 17 times.
  3. Substep 3: Whisper 'it's Monday' 5 times, while makingประก eyes at your computer screen.

Goals for Substep 3:

Because, apparently, even substeps need goals.

  1. Make your eyes water while whispering 'it's Monday'.
  2. Stare at the ceiling for exactly 37 minutes.
  3. Tap your feet 17 times.

Goals for Substep 3, Goals:

Because, apparently, substep goals need subgoals.

  1. Make your eyes water while staring at the ceiling.
  2. Make a loud, 'I'm a grown-up!' face at your computer screen.
  3. Tap your feet 17 times while making 'I'm a grown-up!' noises.