Exit Interview: A Study in Self-Discovery

So you're leaving us. We're not surprised. We're a soul-sucking corporate behemoth with a toxic work environment.

As you leave, we'll be taking away your employee ID badge, your parking spot, and your ability to use the copier.

But don't worry, we'll be keeping the stapler that you 'reorganized' on your second day of work. That was a real 'highlight' of your time here.

Reason for Leaving

I was just here for the free snacks.

I was bored out of my mind.

I'm a free spirit, man.

Where Are You Going Now?

You're off to greener pastures, no doubt. Or maybe you're just going home to your parent's basement. Either way, we won't judge you.

Retirement Home - where the only thing we have to do is eat our feelings and play bingo.

Entrepreneurship - where the only thing we have to do is eat ramen noodles for 3 years straight and pretend it's a business plan.

Don't Forget to Take Your Things

You're leaving, but you'll still owe us for that stapler you 'reorganized'. Don't forget to take it with you, or we'll have to send the 'collection agency' after you.