Fjord-Fence-Assembly Instructions
Assembly Instructions
Warning: Do not attempt to assemble this fence without reading these instructions carefully. You have been warned.
Step 1: Unpacking
Unpack the entire contents of the box, except for that one weird cousin who insists on living with his ex. He can stay in his own cardboard box.
Step 2: Sorting
Sort all the parts into neat little piles, like the 37 different types of screws, the 12 types of nails, and the 4 different kinds of decorative post caps. Don't forget to label each pile with a color-coding system, because that's how adults do things.
Step 3: Assembly
Follow the manufacturer's instructions for assembly, or just eyeball it and hope for the best. Who needs instructions, anyway?
Step 4: Finishing
Apply a coat of primer, then 3-4 coats of paint. Don't forget to varnish your work, or it'll just be a sad, bare fence.
Step 5: Installing
Place the fence in the ground, making sure not to scratch the grass or the neighbors' lawn ornaments. If you break anything, just blame it on the dog.