Technique 3:2
This is the most advanced, most confusing, and yet most utterly useless font stretching technique in the entire world! It's like trying to fit a square into a circle, but with more pixels!
First, you must select the font you wish to stretch.
Next, you must apply an absurd amount of pressure, while simultaneously whispering "BOOP" into the font's ear.
Finally, you must stare intensely at the font until it starts to... well, until you get a headache.
That's it! You now have the most advanced font stretching technique in the world! (Or so we claim.)
Want to learn more? Click on this link to proceed to the next technique!
BOOP-tastic Font Stretching 101