Doomsday Doctrine 11: A Guide to Surviving the End of the World

Step 1: Prepare, Prepare, Prepare (or Don't)

It's coming, folks. The apocalypse. The end of days. The end of the world. Or is it just Tuesday?

Don't bother with a bunker. You'll just end up like the other 47 people in the bunker who are still wearing their "I'm with stupid" t-shirts from the 90s.

Instead, focus on the essentials:

Step 12: The Art of Making Small Talk with a Post-Apocalyptic Stranger

Step 2: The Importance of a Good Exit Strategy

Don't just stand in the middle of the road, waiting for a bus that's never coming. Plan your escape route, folks.

Consider the pros and cons of a) fleeing on foot, b) using a Segway, or c) just hiding under a nearby couch.

Step 13: The Art of Hiding Under a Couch (Advanced)

Step 3: The Doomsday Diet

It's time to get real about what you eat. Cans of SPAM, anyone?

Don't worry, we'll get to the important stuff, like the art of making SPAM sandwiches.

Step 14: SPAM-tastic Recipes for the End Times