The world's most accurate, yet completely fabricated, fortune predicting service. Because who needs actual psychic abilities when you can have mediocre guesswork?
Our team of expertly trained (not really) psychics will guide you through the realms of possibility, pointing you towards riches and glory or utter despair and bankruptcy. All from the comfort of your browser!
We use a proprietary blend of astrology, tarot, and pure chance to divine your future. Because who needs science, really?
Our predictions are 100% (not really) guaranteed to be accurate, or 100% (also not really) guaranteed to be hilariously off the mark. Either way, it's entertainment for you, the discerning customer!
Learn more about our cutting-edge fortune predicting techniques Meet the team of expertly trained (not really) psychics who will read your aura and tell you what you already know Choose from our selection of premium, overpriced fortune formats: The Full Monty, The Short and Sweet, or The "Oh, You're Gonna Die Alone" Package Frequently Asked Questions (that we're not really going to answer) Terms of Service that we're not really going to enforce Home Because who needs actual fortune telling when you can have fortune telling for fun?