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FutureCable 9000 is the world's most advanced teleportation system, promising to deliver your deepest desires, most fervent fears, and your Aunt Mildred's famous seven-layer lasagna directly to your doorstep.
Upgrading to FutureCable 9000 requires a mere 3-5 business days, depending on the whims of the Overlords.
Subscriptions start at just 1 billion dollars per month. Discounts available for early adopters, students, and the faint of heart.