Welcome to the most underground (get it?) course in horticulture. Learn the ancient art of subtly influencing the growth patterns of grass, perfecting your lawn care skills, and turning your neighbors into mindless drones.
Advanced Grass Spells Beginner's Guide to Grass Mind ControlBut wait, there's more! Take our special elective, "GRASS HACKING FOR TROUBLE": where you'll learn to grow the most obnoxious, the most ostentatious, and the most utterly bewildering lawn patterns known to man. Don't get caught, it's just for show...
Unlock the hidden powers of the ancient Grass Masters, wield the mighty "Lawncaster" staff, and bend the very fabric of reality to your whim!
Secret Grass FormulasDon't just control the grass, let it control you! In this comprehensive guide, you'll learn to let your lawn dictate your every move, and your move dictate your lawn's growth.
Identifying Grass PatternsDon't get caught, the authorities are watching... or so we hear.
GRASS HACKING FOR TROUBLEFor the truly initiated, a glimpse into the arcane secrets of the Grass Masters. Use these formulas wisely, and remember, with great power comes great responsibility... to mow your lawn.
Learn to see the signs, learn to read the subtle language of the grass, and unlock the hidden world of lawn care.
When the going gets tough, the tough get... weird. Learn to grow the most confounding, the most befuddling, and the most inexplicable lawn patterns known to man.