Because, let's face it, humanity is a mess
Our experts in behavioral psychology, sociology, and mildly-competent government officials have designed this program to rewire your brain into a more productive, efficient, and slightly-less-likely-to-start-a-revolution individual.
Our methods are scientifically-proven (in a study of 5 people, all of whom were our cousins) and have been implemented in a state-of-the-art (for 1998) facility.
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