Ignore the Lovers

A comprehensive guide to dismissing your significant other with dignity and finesse.

The art of ignoring your lover's existence is a delicate one. It requires a delicate balance of eye-averting, ear-muffing, and general disdain.

Step 1: The Denial

1. Deny the existence of your lover's feelings.
2. Deny the existence of their love for you.
3. Deny the existence of the universe itself.

Step 2: The Deflection

• Deflect their advances with a well-timed "uh-oh, I'm on fire!"
• Deflect their questions with a firm "I'm not talking about it."
• Deflect their love with a pointed "I'm not a good listener."

Step 3: The Deterrence

1. Deterring their attempts with a stern "You're being too clingy."
2. Deterring their questions with a dismissive "I'm busy."
3. Deterring their love with a firm "We're just friends."

Ignore the In-Laws