Butterbeast Stew Recipe

Warning: This recipe is for the faint of heart and the lactose intolerant.

To make the legendary Butterbeast Stew, you will need:

• 1 lb of the finest imported Butterbeasts (available at your local butcher, but only if you have connections)
• 1 onion, diced
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced (optional, but not really)
• 1 cup of heavy cream (don't even think about it, just use the good stuff)
• 1 tsp of paprika (the kind that's been sitting on the shelf since 1982)
• 1 tsp of salt (or is it 2? who knows, who cares)

Instructions:

1. Heat a large pot over medium-high heat, then add a dash of excitement
2. Throw in the diced onion and sauté until it's translucent, but not too translucent (you know, like a good friend)
3. Add the minced garlic and stir until it's evenly distributed, but not too evenly (you get the idea)
4. Add the heavy cream and stir until it's hot, hot, hot!
5. Throw in the Butterbeasts and stir until they're cooked to your desired level of doneness (medium-rare, rare, or well-done, who cares)
6. Season with paprika and salt, then serve with a side of existential dread

Enjoy your Butterbeast Stew, but don't say we didn't warn you.

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