When in doubt, appeal to the highest bidder. It's not about being right, it's about being loudest.
Use the ancient art of Justifying the Unsinkable to silence your critics.
For the more... delicate approach, try Justifying the Innocent.
And for the truly desperate, there's always Justifying the Indefensible.
But remember, justifications are like pizza dough - they're best served hot, but can be frozen for later use.
Or, as we like to say, "A good justification is like a good lie - it's all about conviction."